Fear

I begin this new decade trying to be honest with myself.

What do I fear?

The meaningless and the trivial

The moments that define a lifetime

Or just a fear of falling,

into an abyss I can't climb out of

a life i am living like a lie

losing myself into a sea of despair

turning slowly into plastic, and a little bit more ubiquitous

watching my heart and mind withering away 

I fear being closed minded and even worse

cold hearted 

Some days i fear more than others

I fear, but have the chance to live in an

extraordinary world

If only

If I only could forget the past, perhaps I would be willing to let go

Only then could I go with the flow?

Too many questions, too little time. 

You ask for so much, yet give so little

If only you would meet at the middle

My mind is

My heart was

In constant motion, yet I feel so grounded.

Constantly looking up, despite falling apart

Probably because of a broken heart

If you ever fell in love you would know.

About the highest highs and the lowest lows

and everything in between

Where the mind runs free

Reflections of summer (in transit)

Its refreshing being able to live without a schedule. Without restrictions, summer is a time where we rediscover what life was like. Before computers, and televisions and even cell phones. As I continue to travel the world (one mile at a time), seeing life in different places has made me reevaluate how I live my own.

Standing on a train platform, desperately hoping the train will come on time (alas it never does). But it reality, a train station is an important metaphor, a stage of our life. Literally, you have to know where you came from, where you are and where you're going. At that point, you can see into the future and you can look back at the past, all in the present.

This summer has certainly been a trying experience for me. Spending half my life in a different place, thinking about the great turmoil that will occur all around me. Change is bittersweet; you can never know what will happen, but you'll always know what you're missing.

As they say, "C'est La Vie" -That's Life

Love at First Sight

What is love at first sight?
"Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I'm certain it happens all the time."-
With A Little Help From My Friends- The Beatles
A definition is “an emotional condition whereby a person feels romantic attraction for a stranger on the first encounter with the stranger”. It is the fleeting sensation in your heart when your first meet someone (is it love or is it simply lust?). Or the moment where two people look into each other’s eyes. Yes, some say it is simply an overused and over-clichéd product of the Hollywood machine, while others spend their entire lifetimes chasing it. It is what keeps people awake at night, staring in the ceiling. And it fuels the stories of love lost, that they tell for decades to come. We spend our lives chasing life, chasing love, chasing happiness. And while some may say that love at first sight is a fairy tale, others take it at face value.
Love at first sight is something that everyone wants to believe in. Some never quite nurse their broken hearts; others are a modern-day version of Romeo, whose very existence relies on love. Its very conception and existence lies in the hopes and dreams of us all. A dream crooned in music, exemplified in the big screen, and wistfully dreaming about during class.

Note: This miny-essay was originally concieved for an assignment (for school)

Eight easy steps

They say that the Danish are the most happiest in the world. Hmmmm Denmark? Home to our favorite breakfast pastry, Vikings and (most importantly) LEGO bricks, Denmark has been voted the happiest place on Earth.

Most of us aren't Danish, or even know where it is on a map but we can enjoy life, one sweet short step at a time.

Step 1: Back away from your computer for the rest of the day. Yes, I know its hard. Yes, I know that you've been next to your mac since 1998, but times have changed. As soon as you finish reading this, GO! Go out to the "outdoors" or if you live in a cold-weather climate, your neighborhood WAL-MART.

Step 2: Find something that you like to do. It might eccentric and original, or it might just be as plan vanilla as making ice cream in one of those incredibly hard to use ice cream machines imported from Europe. Savor the freedom.

Step 3: Stop worrying about material goods. Think about it; how would life change with a million dollars. Now live that life (sans the money). If you wanted to go volunteer, then volunteer. If you would go skydive, go skydive. Think about the non-material goals that you want to reach for.

Step 4: Make a goal book. I'm serious. Write down your goals, and write down your progress. Write everything relating to your goal, even the setbacks.

Step 5: Take things more slowly. We're too busy. I seem to almost collide to everyone in the hallway. If you're a klutz at life, slow down. Society thanks you. The world would be a better place if people would spend another three seconds (gasp) to hold the door for the person behind you.

Step 6: Get some sleep. Overstressed and overworked people don't suddenly find energy (not unless you count Red Bull). Get some sleep. More than eight hours means you don't have people asking where were you last night, first thing in the morning.

Step 7: Start living life. Life is flowing all around us; get in it. Get involved! Be the guy that everyone wants to stop and talk to, even if its mudane matters such as the weather.

Step 8: Focus on the big things. Hey change takes time! In our society, anything can happen. The sky is the limit. Do you want to go to Harvard? I can see you walking among those Ivy-covered buildings. Actor? I see your name on Broadway. Dream big, like you can fly.

Eight easy steps on living life.
Eight easy steps.

The Pursuit of Perfection

Welcome to life. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Around and around we go, rushing from place to place, living life in the fast lane. Speedwalking past hallways, rushing around the kitchen, furiously writing down notes. All in a futile pursuit; the pursuit of perfection.

Its all around us, its engrained in our society. The hope for a better future, the hope for a better live drives us to the edge of reason. The American Dream can be fufilled at a human cost. A cost that cannot be reflected in black or white, but simply in shades of gray. How much suffering has come from the pursuit of perfection? Why do we spend our lives constantly chasing life, instead of living it?

A new start

Alas...it has been a while since the last time I wrote on this blog, this collection of musings far and wide. And its time to announce an ambitious New Years Revolution. I pledge to write at least three times a week, every week in 2008. I look foward to continue to write fresh, informative pieces of writing for the world to enjoy. Its time for a new start.

Life in these halls

Welcome to High School. Another four years to look foward to. This is the start of a brand new life.

Life in these halls. People rushing by, trying to get to their second block car, faster than a car roaring down the blue route. Love flowing, hugs and kisses fill the atmosphere of our fast paced lives, a place with nothing concerning PDA. "Hey", "Whats up?", "Yo!", greeting you every 100 meters. High fives, hand shakes, body slams, every form of non verbal communcation coming to you from every direction. And then you realize this is high school; there are life in these halls.

How is it going to school with 1400 of your fellow teenager peers. We have our ups, our downs, our good days and bad days, and days where we want to just collapse on the bed, and listen to music. And this is our life.

Class. Another lecture, another worksheet, another lab, another test. Remind yourself to go with the flow, even if its good or bad. No time to worry; too much on mind

The bell rings. Its the end of the day. You have just survived another day of class. Oh, but no, your day is not complete. How could it be after seven short hours. No must trudge along to fifth block.

Orchestra. The sound of beautiful music fills the room. Charasmatic leader at front; passion in his eyes and his heart. We play, we play harder and better, yet it is not good enough. We can only be better.

Ring. The bell tolls once more. Some of us, leave to catch the bus, relieved that their day is over. Not for the rest of us.

Practice: "Its only six miles up to Smedley Park". You laugh with your fellow teammates at another grueling day of hard, physical torture, yet you seem to love this time of day. Running free; free of everything; running for yourself; running for the world. 'Tis wonderful thing to be free.

Ring. Your day is over? Or has it just begun?

Life in these halls.

Welcome back to Life

As most of you know, million of (eager...or not) school children, have flooded back to school over the last week. And I was one of them.

It has a been a quiet summer. A summer full of moments, some memorable, some that I want to get out of my memory. It is the quiet tranquil lull in a life before the storm we call freshmen year. And now its over. And life begins once more.

Another year of waking up at the crack of dawn, another year of running until dusk, another year of friends and fun, another year of life. What is school? Sure, it is a place where we go to learn, and thats why they make us go, but is it something more than that? Its a place where you find lifelong friendships, its the place where your heart has soared and broken, it is a place that helps define who you are as a individual.

What does this all mean? Are we any closer to finding who we are? Only time will tell.

Into the sunset....

Today I am leaving for a much needed break to Ocean City...it will be nice to just to kick my feet into the sand and just have a little relaxation. Summer is finally here, full of beautiful days of pure sunshine and good memories.

After my short break to the beach, I will be leaving for CTY (John Hopkins Center of Talented Youth) for three weeks. It is simply the highlight of my summer, enjoying quality time with my friends at the campus of Franklin & Marshall. It is where I learned to live life, because life is simply too short.

Au revoir...........into the sunset....

It's all over

I started the wonderful journey of middle school, four years ago.....when I was just a little fifth grader, full of dreams about what would this part of my life be like. I have had the most wonderful and craziest four years of my life. Only in middle school can we really first start growing up...and learning how to live life.

I remember every single problem we deal with during these years that we're not quite sure what to do. We can only live and forget. There's been so many highs and lows in the last four years...it can't be explained in words alone.

If there was only one thing I learned it is this: Be yourself. This is the undeniable truth about humanity; about life. Know where you came from...and more importantly know where you're going. You can't forget your roots, your family, your friends. They are what really matter in life.

And you have to know where you going...you can't drift through life; I learned this lesson too in middle school. We have so many dreams; so many ambitions....and we should never let them go. Nothing is impossible.

And now it's all over. This chapter of my life has closed for good. I'll never forget this experience they call "middle school". We can only look to the future.

Intelligence isn't everything

Is Intelligence everything?

I see the answer everyday...in forms of whispers...and in the form of subtle discrimination and prejudice.....

These so called "smart people" had for the most, a terrible childhood. Maybe it's because I never felt the pain of the world , when I was so young, maybe that is why I still trust humanity. But for some of them, the elementary school years were a painful and rocky time for them. Children do not understand sometimes, and they felt frustrated.

When they got to middle school, and for the first time we see academic segreagation. They put the brightest in one classroom and the "normal" in the other. They start to snicker when they hear a "stupid" response, or a question that they believe can be obviously answered.

They might grow up; might grow up to be our brightest. But something that has taken me a long time to figure out; intelligence is nothing. These "smart" people have been through so much that they take it out on the rest of us.

I might be considered smart; but I never will be one of them. I'll stand up and die for ethics; for what is good in this world. Maybe they don't realize but if we don't stand up for what we believe in, then what is this world good for.

I would take someone with a heart and a curious mind to someone who could fill in the bubbles and get a great test score. We live in this new era of humanity; our relationships with one another will only become stronger.

Maybe I'm just a compassionate person. But I will stand up for everyone else; because they have stood up for me. My fellow Americans, have protected our rights, they have died for them. They are the teachers; the policemen; the brave men and women in uniform. They are America. I'm sure all of us have said something embarassing; something akwardly worded.

Intelligence isn't everything. If it is, what is the purpose of life?

The world we live in

Tick...tock...tick...tock...another second is fading into the sunset. Hopefully we're moving towards a goal. Maybe its to get an "A" in one class you've been struggling in; maybe its an athletic achievement (a faster mile time or a feat of endurance) or maybe its personal; reconnecting with a friend that we haven't seen in a while....This is life...

When our forefathers wrote the Decleration of Independence, how would they be able to know that all we ever wanted was the right to pursuit happiness. Sometimes our efforts are futile; but we constantly try. That is the American way; we never give up, no matter what.

What is all the money worth if we are not happy. Money cannot buy happiness, no matter how hard you believe in it. If we achieve great things; but if we're not happy, if we don't enjoy life, what is it all worth? We're all human; humanity does not need excessive material wealth; it needs people who are focused, who are determined, those that are in pursuit of happiness, or in pursuit of a goal.

There are over six billion hearts and souls living in this modern world. We have one goal; to chase happiness, love and freedom. We are all free deep inside us. This is the world we live in.

Adaption

We wake up. We live. We sleep. The cycle moves on. The world doesn’t stop no matter how hard we want it to be. We are the great adaptors; we have to respond to change every day. As they say “the world is not fair”. At every moment around the world, hearts are broken; opportunities are made and lost, lives change for the better or the worse. And still we wake up every day and continue living through the marathon, the journey of life.

It comes at different points of your life. We realize at a moment, that we have to change. It is the tipping point. The world’s moving and we have to adapt to it, no matter how badly we want it to stop.

Life as it has been said, is too short, there is much to do, and too little time to do it. Simply there is not enough time to change, to adapt your heart, your mind and your world to what you need to do.

We wake up tired and groggy. What do we live for? What is that answer? It’s up to you to find out for yourself.

If we do not move on or adapt, we cannot live. No matter what life throws as an obstacle we cannot let it change our lives for the worse. We must adapt, we must live.

Dream Big

Is the sky the limit?

Growing up, I had one friend who really dreamed big. In forth grade, he wanted to build an airplane, and he wanted to write a newspaper...And we ended up spending hours writing away, thinking that we were part of something bigger. I still remember the days, we spend recess look up into the clear blue sky and dreaming away.

I know people so grounded in reality, they refuse to accept any notion of dreams, any notions of what might happen. Passion means so much more, then ability. Sure if you're good at something, but you don't have the fire in your eyes, it means nothing.

I remember when I first started running, back when I was a sixth grader. It was the first day of cross country, and our coach sent us to run on the cross country course. Those twenty minutes were probably the most misreable moments of my life. The day after, some people just decided not to come back, that it wasn't worth it. I ended up running and running and running...and I'm still running today.

Nothing is impossible. In the last two hundred years, the lightbulb was evented, man put a person on the moon, people can call each other from the four corners of the earth. There is no end to passion, to curiosity, to human ingenuity. We are what we make ourselves. It dosen't matter what someone tells you is going to happen, it matters what you believe is going to happen. Only then can life move on, can we all dream big.

Who we are

"The lunatic, the lover, and the poet are of imagination all compact."
-A Midsummer Night's Dream


Over the course of my life, I have heard a great deal of stereotypes, a great deal of assumptions. Is the society we live in, too stereotypical?

Some people are constantly frustrated by the way our world labels people. I say, the world will keep on labeling you, as long as you label the world. I've met so many remarkable people who break the stereotypes of yesteryear, they do not conform to what "they're supposed to be."

Can the runner dance? Can the A+ student play football? Can the singer achieve their goals? Yes they can. Stereotypes are created to be broken. None of us conform completely to a stereotype; we are all unique in a very own way. This is what humanity is about.

We need to celebrate diversity, not uniformity. If we were all the same, then humanity would not be as rich and dynamic as it is today. Who are we? We are what we choose to be.

Dreaming about a sunny day...

Life seems to go too fast. you usually realize it when its too late, like forgetting the poster you spend all night working on, the day you need to present it. Everything goes smoothly as planned, and suddenly you realize you're only six weeks from graduating eighth grade, leaving sweet memories of the drama that is called "middle school"

Only the last four years (my middle school started in 5th grade) I have experienced the most exciting, most dramatic, and most tiring moments of my life. I have seen the drama, the feeling that all innocence is lost, the feeling of dispair. And I have seen the hope, the strength that shows no matter what happens, that anything is possible. These are the memories that I will remember the most.

Some people say that school is a waste of time. If that was true, our lives would turn for the worse. School is not only created as a place of education, it grows into the place where you cherish your friends, and where you discover who you are. Others believe that school is a popularity contest. If so then those "popular" people they refer to, will never have as much of a good time as the rest of us. We have twelve years to make or break us, twelver years to decide who do we want to be.

Middle School is a rocky time for all of us. Our emotions (and hormones) run high, and we feel the need to assent ourselves as bigger and better then the rest. If you choose to love the world, then the world will love you back. I have heard all the middle school horror stories; the bullying, the teasing, hearts being shattered, self confidence breaking, and we all are just not so sure about what tomorrow will bring. Middle School is what you make it to be. My schedrule might be busy, but I'm still enjoying life. For all those out there, who despise the drama, the crowded hallwayws, the terrible school lunches, try to grow to love something.

It dosen't matter if your passion is writing or running, it only matters that you're passionate about it. C'est la vie. That's Life. Get the most out of your middle school years. And maybe you can dream about a sunny day.

Running 'till your heart gives out...

Life is a strange thing. We are born, we live, we die. What we do in our short lifespan is what defines us as human beings, as individual people.

Earlier today, I was running my heart out to get to the local drug store so I could purchase some balloons for "Science Olympiad". I ran about a mile each way in the sweltering heat of early spring, all just to test something out, to try something new. I realized sweating on the way back, is this what I want to do? Do I want to end up like sub-human winning machine. Do I still want to live? Or do I want to move foward?

Is this what defines me? Sweating over for a dream? Is it worth it? Is it worth my life. I've been living, breathing, dreaming about one thing. I've worked so hard that it seems its not my dream anymore. It's my coaches' dream, its my teammates' dream but it ain't my cup of tea anymore.

How can I get out? How can I find my life again? I just want to live my life...I just want to be truly free...

Pop Culture craziness

In our increasingly media-saavy lives, we experience pop culture craziness such as the Back dorm boys. Here are them performing "That way" (Original by the Backstreet Boys)

Enjoy a different slice of the world, courtesy of Youtube. The Back Dorm Boys or known beter as the Chinese Backstreet Boys posted this video back in November 2005. The two of them at the time were college students in Guangzhou, China. This was featured in Vh1's special: Top 40 Internet Superstars. Just another internet video......for you pleasure

Love defies all

What does Love matter?

Love is something that represents the best in all of us. Love does not discriminate, it is color-blind, it is something that is the center of your world, when you're in it, and the thing you hate the most when you're out of it. It does not matter where two people are in the world, but when they fall in love, everything changes.

Since the beginning of time, writers and playwrights have obsessed over it. From Romeo and Juliet, to Titanic, we the writers/creative minds of the world, have been scripting the most beautiful scenes. The scenes that can make grown men cry. Are we all hopeless romantics?

We fight over love, we die for it. It something that it is unexplainable as long as we live. We don't know why we think about it...We're just all clueless...Love defies all, Love defies gravity...